I am a writer, a director, a painter, artist, actor, singer, dancer – a soul of creative endeavor. What could I possibly have to confess? The truth may surprise you. I am a woman who has come to a strong conclusion that has left me with a burning desire to transform so desperately that I have actually arisen to the occasion, stepped to the plate and yelled “play ball!” It starts with this simple statement.
I am worth it. You are worth it. We are worth it.
When I was little, the world was a bright and brilliantly dizzying display of visionary sweetness. Everything was so fresh. I was young and happy to simply be experiencing life. I remember backyard summer days laying in the grass staring up at the oak trees, leaves rich with dark lush green hues and the velvet yellow sunshine dancing across my face. I remember our deck with the red barn slatted hues, and white butterflies dancing in the air. Rich garden soil was complete with bright, yellow, orange golden pom pom flowers I swore were miracles.
I remember my parents laughing and working together to build their home and their brilliant little family. I can still hear the clinking of glasses and family celebrations. They were united in their desire to cultivate our family. I remember backseat car rides and gigglig with my sister as we drove to Florida for vacations. Freezing in the backseat had never been so fun. I remember racing matchbox cars with my cousins on the linoleum floor under the feet of hustling bustling aunts, uncles, and grandparents as they prepared dinners.
The thing that I remember most about those early days was this amazing sense of power and freedom I felt. I was love and I knew it.
In fact the love in our family was so strong it was palpable. The rhythm would sweep me up and I would be overwhelmed with the desire to express it. I was always singing, dancing, and playing my little organ. I would make up songs as I swung on the swing set my parents put together. Blue and white diamonds whizzed by as I took to the sky, finding my place in the trees with the birds. I remember the joy radiating so deeply as I sung with every bit of passion I could manifest as I expressed my gratitude to the universe.
Over the years, my song faded. The joy seemed dimmer. The rhythm of love and happiness slowed. Somewhere I lost the melody. I missed the freedom and the joy. Who could have done this? Who or what could be responsible for darkening my sunshine?
Here’s the truth. I am responsible, the culprit. In order to maintain happiness one must maintain their sense of gratitude! That is what is missing! It’s the lack of dreaming that had been killing me. My confidence as a child came from having a clearly defined sense of self. I could do anything because I knew my family loved me. They were proud of me. I was their ray of sunshine. I was proof of their love and miracles. My zest for life was one that had been earned. Being born hadn’t come easily. My first moment was almost my last, but I fought, I struggled and I won. I had not only survived, as a child, I thrived.
So when did I loose this gift I had been given of understanding the precious privilege is is to be among these people at this exact moment in history?
It was the moment that I chose to be aware of someone else’s point of view so strongly it superseded my own vision. Perspective is everything. Give up yours and loose your identity.
These days I am taking back my vision. I am standing firm in my perception. I remember the dreams of my childhood. I hear the song of my soul. I feel the rhythm of love and I am sharing it! I am sharing it with every open and receptive soul who is willing to listen to the in stirring beauty of sacredness. I am spreading the joy through color and creation of my expressionistic zest for life. I am encouraging my brothers and sisters of the universe to unite, to encourage, to uplift. Gathered in support and love of one another, we can restore the balance of appreciation for ourselves and the miracle of existence.
This is the song of my people and I shall sing it out loud to the corners of the universe:
I am loved! You are loved! We are loved! We are worth it!